Wednesday, January 30, 2008

I'm a good-for-nothing

I wish I had a talent, like many of the ladies I have been reading about in their blogs. I can't cook, I can't sew/knit, I can't take pictures, and I am not very good or interesting with this blog thing. Damn I suck. I have been pondering this for a long time, who I am and what am I good at. I don't even think I am a good mother, common law wife. I was a wife at one time and obviously wasn't very good at that either since I am now divorced after only 4 years of marriage, guess I could blame that on getting married young (19).
My life seems to be going no where, I have no direction, nothing to look forward to. I have nothing. I have one good friend in real life. And maybe one or two online.
I suck I suck I suck.
I like to scrapbook, but never find the time for it anymore, I probably could find the time but with Toby he always needs to be right into what I am doing, so as soon as I take it out I need to keep everything enclosed so he doesn't get his hands on it and hurt himself. Like if I am cutting something, as soon as I am done with the scissors (even if I need them again in a few minutes) I have to put them away. It got so annoying that I just gave up.
I want to give up on everything most days and today is one of those days.
Urgh sorry about whining so much, I just had to get it out.


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Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

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Anonymous said...

i know what it's like. this post, i just randomly stumbled upon it and it makes me sad. do you talk to anyone about this? cutting and depression are hard enough on you let alone your child who loves you now and will spend the rest of his/her childhood worrying about you unless you get help. i had depression and i used to cut and i had an ED but after counselling everything is right-side-up again. you are not good for nothing. you are amazing.

Lance said...

I feel the same way. I just feel like I was put here to suffer and make everyone else miserable. :-/