Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Excited and scared...

Well 2008 has started... I hope this year will be good, but I have this nagging feeling that it's going to be horrible. I hope and pray that I am wrong.
I am worried about my mom, she seems to be getting worse with her seizures and it is scary, they used to only last a few seconds and she would only have them maybe 1 a month or so, but the last 2 I seen were within a week of each other and they seem to be lasting long. She almost managed to throw my christmas tree on the floor on Christmas eve ( I caught on to what she was going to do and managed to grab it before it hit the floor) and then on New years day at my Aunt's for dinner she had another right after she finished eating, and got up to walk out the door.
She has already had a small accident while driving because of a seizure, and I see bruises on her face which she has no idea how they got there. I think it is maybe from her falling or something. The thing is she is so thick headed and stubborn she won't tell her doc that they have gotten worse, she doesn't remember when she has them or what she does while she is having one.
I wonder can I go to her doc alone and discuss my fears and stuff with the doc?
And don't bother telling me she shouldn't be driving, I know this and so does she, there just is no talking to her. I love my mom and I am so worried and stressed out by this.
Ok this post went somewhere completely different then I intended it to. I was going to write about my other worry ( yeah I have a few I'm a worry wart) Rod maybe leaving for the mainland of Canada in February. He has a job offer up there which is better then what he is getting here ( his current company is having a meeting this Monday with the union to discuss a possible raise, if it goes the way Rod hopes he won't be leaving but if not he feels he doesn't have a choice, we just barely make it from paycheck to paycheck, with Child support and bills and everything. But if he does go I am not going with him, the job up there is one that he may not be at home for weeks at a time, so I figure what would be the point of me leaving with Toby and going away from my friends and family, I may as well stay where I am, this is only a 6 months thing for now, 6 months on 6 off. He can then decide what he wants, to stay like that go full time or go back to his current job ( which he will take an annual leave from).
My year has not started out very good, I ust hope the worse is almost over and things only get better. No wonder I don't sleep at night, and I am going bald, all this is only the tip of the iceburg. Urgh

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