Wednesday, January 30, 2008

I have added some links

I added a few more blogs to my blogroll, If I added you and you would rather not be there please let me know. These are just some of the blogs I check daily. I really need to look into this goggle reader thing I hear/read people talking about. cause a lot of the time I am wasting my time clicking cause some don't post everyday, and I think this reader thing tells you when there is a post. Something to look into.
So if I added you and you don't like it, please just let me know. I am still trying to figure out this "blogging" thing, and I am not sure if I needed permission before hand or not.

I'm a good-for-nothing

I wish I had a talent, like many of the ladies I have been reading about in their blogs. I can't cook, I can't sew/knit, I can't take pictures, and I am not very good or interesting with this blog thing. Damn I suck. I have been pondering this for a long time, who I am and what am I good at. I don't even think I am a good mother, common law wife. I was a wife at one time and obviously wasn't very good at that either since I am now divorced after only 4 years of marriage, guess I could blame that on getting married young (19).
My life seems to be going no where, I have no direction, nothing to look forward to. I have nothing. I have one good friend in real life. And maybe one or two online.
I suck I suck I suck.
I like to scrapbook, but never find the time for it anymore, I probably could find the time but with Toby he always needs to be right into what I am doing, so as soon as I take it out I need to keep everything enclosed so he doesn't get his hands on it and hurt himself. Like if I am cutting something, as soon as I am done with the scissors (even if I need them again in a few minutes) I have to put them away. It got so annoying that I just gave up.
I want to give up on everything most days and today is one of those days.
Urgh sorry about whining so much, I just had to get it out.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

How much more can I take??

I just got a call informing me that my uncle has cancer, well on Thursday they knew he had it in his bowels. Someone just called and told me it is in his lungs and liver as well. If he doesn't have the bowels surgery the docs give him a month to live. Urgh I hate this. My grandmother just passed and we are not over that yet and now my uncle (on the other side of my family) has just been given a death sentence basically.
My mother doesn't know yet. And I don't think I can be the one to tell her, this is her brother and I know they were close before he moved away. I can remember when I was younger always going to their house and playing with my cousins, his sons,. I just don't know how much more bad news I can take.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Funny band thing

I stole this from Dutchbitch. Lets see what I come up with.

Let’s make a band:
The first article title is the name of your band.

The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.

The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

Now take your pic, add the band name and title to it, then post it. Here is my album cover.
It is not done that great, cause at the moment all I have on here is the PAINT program.

Not a bad picture, could have been worse lol.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

She will be missed

I am writing this post with a heavy heart, and a tear or two.
My Nan passed away on Friday morning from a heart attack. It has been a very rough few days, for my son as well. He is used to me being home with him, but Rod watched him all weekend while I spent time at the chapel with my nan and my family.
It was very hard to say goodbye to her. But I am happy to know she is in a better place ( if such a place/thing exist) I hope she is anyway. She is no longer in pain, she wasn't sick or anything just sore bones and stuff, she was 86 after all. I think she lived a long life.
I will always remember her, Her birthday is the day before Toby's. I just hope if there is such a place as heaven that is is there watching over us.
Rest In Peace Nan, I love you.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Excited and scared...

Well 2008 has started... I hope this year will be good, but I have this nagging feeling that it's going to be horrible. I hope and pray that I am wrong.
I am worried about my mom, she seems to be getting worse with her seizures and it is scary, they used to only last a few seconds and she would only have them maybe 1 a month or so, but the last 2 I seen were within a week of each other and they seem to be lasting long. She almost managed to throw my christmas tree on the floor on Christmas eve ( I caught on to what she was going to do and managed to grab it before it hit the floor) and then on New years day at my Aunt's for dinner she had another right after she finished eating, and got up to walk out the door.
She has already had a small accident while driving because of a seizure, and I see bruises on her face which she has no idea how they got there. I think it is maybe from her falling or something. The thing is she is so thick headed and stubborn she won't tell her doc that they have gotten worse, she doesn't remember when she has them or what she does while she is having one.
I wonder can I go to her doc alone and discuss my fears and stuff with the doc?
And don't bother telling me she shouldn't be driving, I know this and so does she, there just is no talking to her. I love my mom and I am so worried and stressed out by this.
Ok this post went somewhere completely different then I intended it to. I was going to write about my other worry ( yeah I have a few I'm a worry wart) Rod maybe leaving for the mainland of Canada in February. He has a job offer up there which is better then what he is getting here ( his current company is having a meeting this Monday with the union to discuss a possible raise, if it goes the way Rod hopes he won't be leaving but if not he feels he doesn't have a choice, we just barely make it from paycheck to paycheck, with Child support and bills and everything. But if he does go I am not going with him, the job up there is one that he may not be at home for weeks at a time, so I figure what would be the point of me leaving with Toby and going away from my friends and family, I may as well stay where I am, this is only a 6 months thing for now, 6 months on 6 off. He can then decide what he wants, to stay like that go full time or go back to his current job ( which he will take an annual leave from).
My year has not started out very good, I ust hope the worse is almost over and things only get better. No wonder I don't sleep at night, and I am going bald, all this is only the tip of the iceburg. Urgh