Depression is a nasty bully

*** Disclaimer***
These are my thoughts and experiences, I am by no means a pro on either of the subjects I write about.

I have suffered from depression for many years, started around the same time I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism, and puberty, so not sure if it is a symptom or a disease all it's own. When I was younger I was told by more then one doctor that "it's all in your head" and nothing was done about it.
I tried to "end it" a few times unsuccessfully obviously, or I wouldn't be writing this now.
I had physical bullies, but I think the worst bully has to be the mental bully called depression... the physical ones grow up and change, and you can fight back, some of the time. But the mental one seems to only get stronger, and stays with you as you grow, no matter where you go or move to. It followed me into high school, also into my marriage and move to Europe, and through my move back home, after me leaving my marriage with thoughts of needing to get out because I was not worthy enough to be loved by my then husband. Many years later I see that it was the bully in my head telling me this.

And the past few years now, my son has been suffering with depression and anxiety, and it is rearing it's ugly head big time lately. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place... what do you do when you are faced with a child who no longer wants to live, and has these thoughts almost on a daily basis, yes he is on medication ( for a little over a month) and it seems to be doing nothing.
We have an appointment with the physiologist (the one that can prescribe meds) again now in April, so hopefully she can give a little insight in wait to do, and maybe a med change.
He has an app this week with his psychiatrist, ( the one that talks, and does NOT prescribe meds), I get the two names mixed up lol.
He is struggling in school, because how can you focus if all your thoughts are on how useless you are and how much you want to end it.
Me and the hubby, and the son are all struggling, I wish I had the words to help, I have been talking him to a weekly mental health peer group, which he is under the age of the majority of the group, but the facilitator met with us, and deemed my son mature enough to attend.
He seems to be "older" then your typical 12 year old, and doesn't share the same interest and sense of humor as his classmates, I wonder is this because of the depression and anxiety, or is it early puberty ( he has other signs of puberty as well, for a few years now). I have discussed this with his family doctor, but she does not seem concerned.

I have almost written a novel, oops. If you are still reading, to this point thank you.

Hugs,
Melissa D

Been so long

2013!!!!! OMG that is a long time ago, and it was the last time I blogged anything. Except for when I found this site called bubblews, which was a sort of blogger site, which paid per like, per post I believe that is how it went.
I have been toying with the idea of getting back into blogging for some time now. A LOT has changed since 2013. My little boy is no so little anymore and will become a teenager this year, when did that happen.
If I continue with this blog, it probably won't be much about crafting anymore. I still craft, but not as much as I would like to be. I don't have the drive to do much these days, I would like some energy or drive back, I feel as thou I am on auto pilot, and that is not a good feeling.

Now I have people wanting/needing my attention once again, I swear they all know when I am doing something because that is when I am wanted for something, and that is probably another reason I gave up on blogging years ago.

Hope to post again soon.
Hugs to you all,
Melissa D

P.S. He will kill me if he knows I posted this pic, shhhhh. Our secret. :)

June dare for MMM

We were asked to make something for "truths" I didn't use either of the ones Tracy provided, I used my own, I searched pintrest, googled truths, and could not come up with any truths that seemed to suit me. I am not very religious and seemed to find most of them were about god and such. But here is some that I found, I hope I did this right. I am diffidently cutting it close, seeing as this is July 1st. Opps. I don't like how it turned out, and haven't had a chance to either "fix" it, or do a new one. :(
But anyhow here it is. and I am linking it here.

Letter to me (Tracy's May dare)

So we have been dared to write a letter to me, for the Mixed Media FB group I a part of. Here is the link to Tracy's site, and you can find her letter there too. :) Click here.

So here is my letter, and page to go with my letter. I have not scrapbooked in awhile so that is what the page turned out to be.

These are my entries, I was too lazy to type out my letter, so I took a pic. :)

And every time I thought about this letter to me dare I would think of Brad Paisleys song.

How many times have I wished I could go back in time, and know what I know now.

Oh well I guess I am stuck in the present, and not the past.

Hope you all have a great week.

Hugs,

Melissa D

This is a first for me....

I am actually taking part in my first ever challenge, over at Tracy's blog http://tracywburgos.typepad.com/treasure_the_momentlove_l/2013/04/april-creative-dare.html
I have been a follower of Tracy's for awhile, and I love her Ustreams and watching her create. She has a Monday mixed media Ustream which I try to watch live, if not I catch the recording. With the time zones it's quite late for me. :)
But here is my entry for the dare. :) Hope you all like it.

 

Hope everyone has a great weekend.

Hugs,

Melissa D

 

 

Too long since I have written

I know it has been awhile... But I have been very busy. I am now working 2 jobs, and with it being so cold, I have not had much desire to go into my craft room, which is in the basement, and colder then the rest of the house. :(
I have been crafting off and on though. Whenever I manage to get the spare time, and the inspiration, which is not much lately.
Here are a few pics of what I made just before Xmas.

These are just a couple wreaths I made for Xmas gifts. I loved making them. I am thinking of making some for Valentines day as well. Whenever I can get to the dollar store. We have been stuck in the house for a week because of the blizzards we have been having. But the weather is starting to clear up, so hopefully I get the chance this week to get there.

This was one day, when I got stuck out of town, before the weather struck. This is good compared to what it became later in the day.

I am ready for spring. And hopefully my creativeness will return as well.

Hope everyone is happy and healthy. :)

Have a great week.

Hugs,

Melissa D

Summer time means campfire time

This is some of my family, the 3 ppl on the right are my cousins, visiting from China, their other little girl is off exploring the beach.

We had a wonderful day starting with a fire on the beach of the Atlantic ocean. I (and the rest of the community) take for granted that we live right next to the Atlantic, it was wonderful seeing this from someone else's eyes. I am so glad they had fun at the beach, I had a great time catching up with them as well.

I have not been very active on here but I have been caught up with tons of life stuff. I am trying to stay busy with my crafts because I will be having my first ever table at a craft fair type thing. Any tips from my fellow craft fair bloggers on how to best display my crafts???

Changing crafts again.

		Sleepless Jewelry VIEW SLIDE SHOW DOWNLOAD ALL

This (above) is what is taking up most of my crafting time lately. I am still working with Vinyl, and clay, and cards, just beading is taking over lol.

I love making bracelets and learning new stitch techniques. And I like the fact that I can do this on the couch instead of going to my chilly craft room.

What is everyone else doing?? hope everyone is great.

I have not received a comment since I switched over to the new dashboard with blogger, I hope it’s just a coincidence, well if it is blogger messing up good, cause I know that will be fixed, but if it’s because I have lost the few followers I had, I am sad and sorry I know my post have been sucky and few lately. Forgive me please.

 

Hugs,

Melissa D

Yogurt review…

I just tried a new yogurt. I bought these yogurts yesterday. They are from Yoplait Source Dessert. And I give them a 7 out of 10. I have only tried the Cafe Latte flavour yet, but this one passed, and I am not a fan of coffee. But this was yummy.
You get 16x100g containers in a pack, and at my grocery store they were on sale for $6.49 CDN so to me that is a good price. And they don’t contain added sugar so to me that’s a good thing. Most of the yogurts sold at the store near me has a crap load of sugar.
The pack I bought comes in the following flavours:
Creme caramel, Cafe latte, Strawberry parfait, Raspberry-chocolate. Can’t wait to try the other flavours. So I will be editing this post as I try more of them.
Go get some yummy goodness.
Hugs everyone, have a great Wednesday,
Melissa D
**** Updated: Raspberry-chocolate is I'd say about a 6 out of 10. And I don't even like raspberries. :)

New craft post over on my Crafty blog.

Head on over to my new crafty blog at sleeplesscrafter.blogspot.com and check out my Angry bird clay figures. :)
Hugs,
Melissa D

iPhone pic problems

I have been busy making seed bead bracelets lately, I wanted to post some pics of them, but for the life of me I can't figure out how to get my pics off my iPhone, other then emailling them to myself. Anyone know how to help me with this??
Hope your Monday wasn`t too bad. :)
Hugs,
Melissa D

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Have a great weekend,

hugs,

Melissa D

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Have a great weekend guys,

Melissa D

Dentist phobia conquered (sort of)

Well I am headed to the dentist again tomorrow, for I think my 6th time in the last couple months. Needless to say I am getting over my fear. But she is the only dentist I will go to, her reciptionist called once, saying she had to reschedule, and if I wanted to see her college, or wait for her. I decided to wait.
I think once you find a GOOD dentist, it is easier to get over your fear.
Hugs,
Melissa D

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Making changes

I am working on this page/site/blog lol, whatever you want to call it. I am a newbie when it comes to changing stuff around on here, so please bare with me. Hopefully if I don't make any major mistakes, I will be back to posting soon. :)

Have a great weekend everyone.

Hugs,

Melissa D

Jinx myself

I guess I shouldnt have said I was going to post more. I have not stopped since Friday. My dad had a mild heart attack, so I have been helping keep my mom calm and trying to be there for him, which is hard because the hospital is 1 hour drive away. Drive my son to school this morning, headed to the hospital, drove back to get my son from school and headed back over, they finally released him from the ICU so that means my son can see him now, I want him to see him because my dad is headed to the major hospital for the province, to have some procedures done. It is so scary, because he has had a triple by past done about 9 years ago. I am just trying to keep thinking positive. Got to go an will try to update soon.
Hugs,
Melissa D

Yes I am actually posting. :)

This blog has been suffering lately, and I am sorry for that. I have lost my motivation for a lot of things lately. But I have been crafting.

I even made my first beaded bracelet tonight, wanna see a pic??? You do right?? Right?? Well even if you don’t I am going to show you anyway. Hahaha.

Here is is, I did it in the colors of the old before Confederation flag of Newfoundland, here is a pic of the flag as well just for reference.

 

And here is my bracelet…

Opps camera strap.  

The colors didn’t show up to well in the pic, but the are almost an exact match to the flag, just sparkly, and also the bigger bead is a Swarovski bead. I think it turned out nice for my first try.

Also did another first last night…

My first clay Easter basket and bunny…

What do you think??

Well got to go, hope to post more often soon, when I get my mojo back.

Hugs,

Melissa D